Being an Ally

What does it mean to be an ally?

Being an ally means working together with others toward a common goal. Ending relationship abuse takes a community effort--and this means even if you have never experienced abuse and don't know anyone who has, there are still really important ways you can be involved.

But I'm a guy--what can I do?

One of the contributing factors to violence against women is culture--that "being a man" in a relationship means a guy has to be bigger, stronger and the boss in the relationship. This type of attitude can lead to an unhealthy relationship dynamic, especially if the guy's friends are making fun of him for being "whipped" and encourage the guy not to "let" his girlfriend call the shots. A healthy relationship is when both partners have equal power.

And as a guy, you have the unique ability to model healthy relationship dynamics to your guy friends-- good communication, honesty and accountability, responsibility, and good conflict resolution skills. You also have the ability to provide positive peer pressure when you think they might be speaking or acting inappropriately toward their girlfriends (or girls in general).

Why is it important to be an ally?

There is no denying that being an ally is hard--you may have to stand up to peer pressure, taunting, teasing and even threats. But standing up for something you believe in is also very empowering, and you are working to make sure that you and your friends are safe in your relationships.